hate that i love you

the exam's a hell. i failed.

math 100 take 3.
naisip ku lng sayang ang mga tuesdays and fridays ng sem n to n nilaan ko for this subject, knowing n etong subject lng n to ang dahilan ng pgpasok ko with these days.
isang malamig n singko lng din pla ko pupulutin.

im ashamed to my mother. sayang lahat ng benta nya sa tindahan. binagsak ko lng pala.
dats d sad and bitter fact. disregarded effort, shit.

hndi ko alam kung anu gsto ko. i have endured enough sa subject n to still di pa rin pala time to move on to next level.

i hate that i love this subject so much. na kailangan kong ulit-ulitin T.T.... hanggang kelan ba.

im tired.

a while ago, i said that i believe on the reality of miracles. naniniwala p rin ako. mghihimala n papasa pa rin ako dito.

-_-

morning blues

good morning :p
i am the first to greet myself saya saya. haha. umagang kabaliwan n naman. i woke up 3:30 to make my o.b take home exam. wew. late ku n narealize n kelangan pla my margin both sides. ayun, i didn't rewrite it, ung numbers 4 & 5 n lng nlagayan ku n margin. bahala na. i'm excited of my vacation na. yihooooo. after ng exam mmya. hooray. fun fun fun. ♥

things i have to do this summer:
-h.s yearbook
-summer class

waw.
waw.
deym.
di rin pala bakasyon T.T

wew, at least my 2-3 weeks naman na break tlga kase summer class starts at april 20+ ata.

haaay. im not feeling well. kinakabahan ako sa exam ku mmya sa calculus. T.T grabe ang bigat ng feeling. ayoko ng bumagsak pa uLIT. help me lord. ayoko n talaga. ayoko ayoko ayokoooooooooooo mg take 3 ng calculus. freakin mathematics grrrr. im supposed to be reviewing ngaun pero la pa ko sa mood. preoccupied n ko ng kaba ko honestly. HOPEFULLY, gosh!!! im not losing hope n papasa ko kahit 3. PLEASE. i remember a friend's sms, "miracles do happen"... yah they do i know. i know im gonna make it. please. sana walang maxadong integration problems mmya.. dat's my only worry kasi hirap tlga ku dun sobra. ok lng kung mga revenue problems kaya ku p yun wag lng simplification evaluation integration differentiation. T.T bigat tlga ng feeling. the last exam in this beloved subject, i felt so down. hindi naman n-blank ung paper ku. in fact nasagot ku lahat ng items but i know n mali gnwa ko. i need to pass this one tlga. grabe. please. my mind's floating around n naman. filled with nothing. la n pumapasok sa isip ko. 6:13 na nid to go at 10, i have almost 3 hours p cguro to study. but i dont know kung may maabsorbe ako. T.T i hate it.

wew.
.
.
.
.
.
speechless.
bored.
nervous.
sleepy.
tired.

is this gonna be a happy day? can i make it a happy dei? il see later pg tapos ng exam. gr. and hopefully it will.

godbless me. be with me. amen.

bad habit

im becoming a worse net slave. i can't make myself stop browsing whenever i open the pc. friendster, youtube, ym. i stay up late most of the times. this is not good i know. but what can i do. i think pc is a lot more better than using my phone w/c is constantly unloaded. i dont pay our internet connection but i do pay to load my cp so again that's another reason im becoming a worse net slave. wew. im planning to change somehow and i hope (crossfingers both hands and feet) i can alter this worsening habit. grrr. il use the net whenever i need to and i wont spend too much time for browsing nonsense. i wish myself tons of luck.

another "wala lang" entry for today hehe. inabot n naman ako ng umaga.. masama n talga to.. hheehe. XD

first time

first fresh post.

as usual, i don't have any certain topic prepared to put in this entry. kung anu na lng pumasok sa isip ko hehe. i made an account on this site kase i realized n gsto ko tlga bumalik ulit sa pgsusulat. ayun nga lng in the form of blogging na xa. miss my essay writing days with sir michael. miss those times i spend with my journals and diaries writing anything random. i don't know why i suddenly lose the eagerness to write. kung na-trauma n b ko sa mga paper requirements sa school ewan ku ba or maybe dahil n namn sa katamaran hehe. first post sa newly made blog account but i can't realy think of interesting things to share to you. it's holy monday, im actually feeling sleepy and tired but i can't leave this entry hanging since first post nga kya cge il continue talking non-sense n lng XD. haay, im thinking of something i can do this holy week. my mother is planning to go to pangasinan on the holy thursday with my sister and me pero parang ayoko. i prefer staying here in the house pero di ko pa lam. sa isang tulad kong fickle minded to the maximum baka last hour sumama ko bgla. 6 years n rin ata ko di nkapunta dun sa province ni mama pero iniisip ku p lng ung byahe ayoko na. gsto ko n lng matulog at mag-isip hehe.

this holy week i hope i can do something meaningful. kahit personal reflection lng ok na. blessed be this week. amen.